As the new school year approaches, many teens experience a whirlwind of emotions. While excitement about new classes, friends, and opportunities can be part of the mix, anxiety often takes center stage—particularly for teens who have struggled with school-related challenges in the past. As parents, we may find ourselves in a similar emotional rollercoaster, balancing our own concerns with the task of providing support and guidance for our teens.
I’ll admit, even I feel a bit of apprehension at this time of year. I find myself wondering whether I’ve got everything organized—do we have all the uniforms? Did I purchase the right school supplies? Have I sorted out the transportation passes? With three children across three different schools, it’s always a juggling act. Every year, it’s a small victory when everyone gets where they need to go with everything they need.
For teens with anxiety, however, this already busy and stressful time can feel overwhelming. Returning to school, facing academic and social pressures, and dealing with the unpredictability of a new year can exacerbate their anxiety. So, how do we help them navigate this transition smoothly?
Here are some key strategies you can implement to manage the back-to-school transition and help your teen move forward with greater confidence and resilience.
1. Preparation is Key: Get Ahead of Potential Challenges
When it comes to school-related anxiety, preparation is one of your greatest tools. If your teen struggled last year, don’t simply hope that things will magically be different this time around. The reality is that anxiety doesn’t disappear just because a new school year starts.
Instead, start having open conversations with your teen about what might be coming up. Ask them what they’re excited about, but also get curious about their worries. Are they anxious about making new friends? Do they feel uncertain about keeping up with their studies? What specific situations are causing them stress?
This open communication can help you both identify areas where support might be needed. It’s important to ask open-ended questions and actively listen to their answers without jumping in to fix the situation. Sometimes, just having these conversations and being curious about their feelings can open the door to a better understanding of what’s ahead. If they feel anxious, they might be hoping things will somehow be different this year, but without proactive steps, old challenges may resurface.
Once you’ve identified potential challenges, work with your teen to develop a plan. This might involve setting small, achievable goals or discussing coping strategies for specific situations. You may also consider liaising with their school to ensure they receive the right support. Many schools are open to working collaboratively with parents when they understand the specific needs of their students.
2. Create a Supportive Routine
Routines provide a sense of structure, stability, and predictability, all of which are incredibly comforting for teens dealing with anxiety. In the days leading up to school, start establishing a routine that mirrors the school schedule. This gives your teen time to adjust and eases the transition.
Key elements of a supportive routine include:
Consistent Wake-Up and Bedtimes: Gradually adjust your teen’s sleep schedule to match the school routine. A good night’s sleep is foundational to managing anxiety. Let your teen be part of this process—ask them what they think will work best to ensure they’re rested and ready for the day.
Morning and Evening Rituals: Develop simple morning and evening rituals together. For example, packing school bags the night before, having a calming breakfast in the morning, or spending a few minutes journaling before bed. These rituals can create a sense of calm and consistency, which can help reduce morning stress and anxiety.
3. Set Realistic Expectations
The start of the school year can be overwhelming for teens, especially if they feel like they have to "get everything right" from day one. As parents, we can help by setting realistic expectations for the first few weeks.
Discuss Their Concerns: Ask your teen what they’re most worried about and talk through those concerns. Sometimes, just talking about these issues can help reduce their anxiety and make them feel more in control of the situation.
Focus on Effort, Not Perfection: Remind your teen that it’s okay if things don’t go perfectly right away. Encourage them to focus on trying their best, rather than striving for perfection. Celebrate their effort and progress, even if it feels small. Each step forward is a step toward building resilience.
4. Encourage Resilience: Facing Challenges Builds Strength
Resilience isn’t something you’re born with—it’s built over time by facing challenges and learning to manage difficult emotions. The start of the school year offers many opportunities for your teen to practice resilience, even if it doesn’t feel easy.
Celebrate Small Wins: Whether your teen makes it through the first day, tackles a difficult class, or simply shows up despite their worries, these are all victories worth celebrating. Small wins are the building blocks of resilience, and they should be acknowledged.
Stay Connected: Check in regularly with your teen about how they’re feeling and the challenges they’re facing. Knowing they have your support can make all the difference as they navigate this transition. Staying connected helps your teen feel like they’re not alone in facing their anxiety.
5. Model Calmness and Acknowledge the Difficulty
Modelling calmness is a powerful tool when supporting an anxious teen. However, this can be easier said than done, especially when their anxiety starts to impact the entire family. When your teen says they’re not going to school or expresses extreme anxiety, it’s normal to feel frustrated or worried yourself.
In these moments, pause, take a breath, and remind yourself that what you’re seeing is anxiety. Your teen is struggling, and while it’s difficult, they need your calm presence to help them navigate it. Ask open-ended questions like, “What’s going on for you right now?” or “What’s the next small step we can take?” The key is to acknowledge the challenge while remaining patient and calm.
6. Liaise with the School: You Don’t Have to Navigate This Alone
Remember, you don’t have to manage everything on your own. Liaising with the school can be a crucial part of ensuring your teen has the support they need during the school year. Reach out to your teen’s teachers, school counsellor, or pastoral / support staff to discuss any concerns you have. Let them know about the specific challenges your teen faces and work together to create a plan for success.
Encouraging your teen to communicate their needs with the school can also help build their confidence and self-advocacy skills. It might feel uncomfortable at first, but it’s an important step toward managing their anxiety in a supportive and structured way.
Final Thoughts
As the new school year begins, remember that transitions are difficult for everyone—even for parents like us who have been through them before. The start of the school year is a significant change, and anxiety can make it feel even harder for our teens.
By preparing ahead, creating supportive routines, staying connected, and modelling calmness, we can help ease their transition back to school and set them up for a more confident and resilient year.
And remember, you don’t have to hope for a better year—through proactive steps, open communication, and resilience-building practices, you can help make it happen.
If you have any questions or would like to share your own experiences, feel free to reach out. I’m here to support you every step of the way.
Dr Beck x
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