With the start of the new academic year just around the corner (and already here for some), many of our teens are feeling a mix of excitement and anxiety. Whether it’s the anticipation of new classes, the pressure of academic expectations, or the social challenges that come with a new term, this time of year can bring both hope and worry. For parents, it’s important to understand how to support your teen through these challenges, not by eliminating anxiety, but by helping them manage it and move forward with resilience.
Embracing Anxiety as a Challenge, Not a Problem to Fix
One of the biggest misconceptions about anxiety is that it needs to be eliminated. The reality is, anxiety is a natural part of life, especially when facing new and challenging situations. The key is not to get rid of anxiety but to learn how to manage it step by step. Each small step your teen takes towards facing their fears is a step towards building resilience. It's like lifting weights—the growth happens gradually, and each effort, no matter how small, is a victory.
But let’s be real—facing anxiety is anything but easy. Anxiety is the body’s alarm system, designed to grab our attention and keep us safe. It’s loud, it’s uncomfortable, and it’s incredibly hard to ignore. This is why taking those first small steps through anxiety is such a big deal. It’s about recognizing the alarm, understanding it, and still choosing to move forward, even when every part of you wants to pull back.
Facing School Anxiety: The Challenge of Moving Toward What Matters
As our teens prepare to return to school, many will find themselves caught between wanting to succeed and the anxiety that comes with the pressure of a new year. They might feel nervous about making new friends, keeping up with their studies, or stepping into unfamiliar situations. These moments of anxiety can make them want to retreat, but they also offer a powerful opportunity to build bravery and resilience.
Every time our teens face their fears and take even a small step forward, they’re not just surviving the moment—they’re growing stronger. Resilience isn’t built by avoiding anxiety; it’s developed through the steady process of facing discomfort and moving forward, little by little.
Building resilience is like lifting weights. The growth happens gradually. Sometimes it’s slow and clumsy, sometimes it feels big and bold, and other times it’s frustrating and full of setbacks. But each step, no matter how small, is a step toward building strength. When your teen faces the discomfort of anxiety and moves through it—even imperfectly—they’re not just coping, they’re growing braver and more resilient.
Preparation is Key: Getting Ahead of Potential Challenges
If your teen struggled last year, it’s important not to just hope things will be different this time around. Instead, take proactive steps to make this school year a more positive experience.
Talk Openly About What Might Be Coming
Start by having open conversations with your teen about the upcoming school year. Ask them what they’re excited about and what they’re nervous about. These conversations can help you both identify areas where support might be needed. By acknowledging these challenges early on, you’re not only validating your teen’s feelings but also empowering them to face the school year with more confidence.
Develop a Plan Together
Once you’ve identified potential challenges, work with your teen to develop a plan. This might involve setting small, achievable goals, discussing coping strategies, or liaising with the school. The key is to be proactive rather than reactive. If your teen is worried about social situations, you could discuss ways to approach new classmates or how to handle anxiety in social settings. If academic pressure is a concern, consider setting up a study schedule together or identifying resources that can help.
Practical Tips for a Smooth Transition Back to School
Here are some ways you can support your teen as they navigate the return to school:
1. Create a Supportive Routine
Routines can provide a sense of stability and predictability, which can be incredibly comforting for teens dealing with anxiety. In the days leading up to school, start establishing a routine that includes:
Consistent Wake-Up and Bedtimes: Gradually adjust your teen’s sleep schedule to match the school routine. A good night's sleep is foundational to managing anxiety. Let them be part of this planning—what do they think is going to work well for them?
Morning and Evening Rituals: Help your teen develop simple rituals like packing their school bag the night before, having a calming breakfast, or spending a few minutes journaling to set a positive tone for the day. Again, help them consider what is going to work for them.
2. Set Realistic Expectations
It’s important to have open conversations with your teen about what to expect in the first few weeks of school:
Discuss Their Concerns: Ask your teen what they’re most worried about and talk through these concerns. Sometimes, just having these conversations can alleviate some of the anxiety.
Focus on Effort, Not Perfection: Remind your teen that it's okay if things don’t go perfectly right away. Encourage them to focus on trying their best rather than achieving perfection. Small steps forward are still steps in the right direction.
3. Encourage Resilience
As we talked about last week, resilience is built through facing challenges. Encourage your teen to see the start of the school year as an opportunity to practice resilience:
Celebrate Small Wins: Whether it’s getting through the first day, handling a difficult situation, or just showing up, make sure to celebrate these small successes.
Stay Connected: Check in regularly with your teen about how they're feeling and any challenges they're facing. Knowing they have your support can make all the difference.
Liaise with the School for Extra Support
Remember, you don’t have to navigate this alone. Liaising with the school can be incredibly helpful. Reach out to your teen’s teachers or the pastoral team to discuss any concerns you have and to make them aware of your teen’s specific needs. Schools are often willing to make accommodations or provide additional support if they understand the challenges a student is facing.
Encourage your teen to be part of this process as well. If they feel comfortable, they can even communicate their own needs directly to teachers, which can be empowering and help build self-advocacy skills.
Final Thoughts
As the new school year begins, remember that preparation and open communication are key. By getting ahead of potential challenges, establishing supportive routines, and working together with your teen and their school, you can help set them up for a more confident and resilient year.
Let’s not just hope for a different outcome—let’s actively work toward it. With your support, your teen can face the new school year with courage and resilience, ready to tackle the challenges ahead.
Dr Beck x
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